Oops. forgot to say - do you like my christmas candle? This is one of my first efforts at creating a bit of digital art using the photoshop programme. What do you think?
Not perfect, I know, but I`m proud of my little effort all the same. LOL. Hopefully, I`ll get better with practice. Bruce the Mafia Mutt is created by my son Phil. I love his rougish little face.
I DO LOVE THE INTERNET!
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Merry Christmas and Best wishes for 2007

Well folks, I`m posting this early as I`m going away for christmas. We`re off on a cruise of the Canary Islands on the 22nd - the day after tomorrow - so wont be around until early Janaury. Hopefully, I`ll have loads of photos to post though.
So, the cruise - we start of at Falmouth - and then go to Vigo, Gibralta (for christmas day), Casablanca, Tenerife and Lanzerote. Hope theres no stormy weather brewing.
So, see you in the 2007. have lots of fun over Christmas and New Year.
Love and Best wishes
Marianne
xxx
Monday, December 18, 2006
Sailing Away
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Angels and Donkeys
Major Trauma!
Kids Christmas plays are a minefield at the best of time. Who gets what part can be a matter of Life and Death to a six year old, and on Sunday, Molly wasn`t happy!
The Production - the Sunday School Christmas Play! The casting of Dolly - (Molly`s twin) - an Angel, Sara - an Angel, Eve B - an Angel, Molly - A DONKEY!
She came home with a glum little face, mumbling about not really wanting to be a donkey, which worked up to a crescendo of crying and wailing for a full hour. "TELL THE LADY I DONT WANT TO BE A DONKEY! I WANNA BE AN ANGEL!"
Hmmm? What to do? I tried to explain that the Donkey role was a better one than the angels, as she had a line to speak - which the angels didn`t, but that didn`t wash. She`s sticking to her guns. ANGEL OR NOTHING! Little Dolly gamely intimated that she`d be the donkey instead, but I dont think that`d work as Dolly cant speak very well (due to her cleft palate) and the donkey has to say in a loud voice "WELL - THANK GOODNESS FOR THAT!"
But I might ask next week, just in case if we can have a swop. Couldnt stand another week of tears. I`m sure even Hollywood casting agents dont have all this hassle.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Friday, October 27, 2006
New Liverpool Website
Have you heard about the new website for the Merseyside area Liverpool.Com.?
Its well worth a look if you`ve got the time.
http://liverpool.com
Theres even some competetions.
Its well worth a look if you`ve got the time.
http://liverpool.com
Theres even some competetions.
Monday, October 23, 2006
Max Appeal Conference for VCFS/DiGeorge
We were off to Leicester at the weekend to the annual Max Appeal Conference. This is the support group for DiGeorge Syndrome/VCFS - the condition which my little daughter, Evie, suffers from. It was based in the National Space Centre, which was wonderful. We slept in a Travel Lodge a few miles away but travelled up the morning of the conference, which meant a 6.00am start. There`s some nice countryside round there though and I would have liked to look round a bit more.
The MaxAppeal conference was well organised as always, right down to Parking Permits to food and drinks supplied all day. In the lunch break, a man dressed as an astronaught brought presents for all the kids - although Evie was terrified of him, she loved her present ( a toy sewing machine that really sews). Usually, Father Christmas comes, but the meeting is usually held in December. She`s terrified of him too! LOL.
Anyway - theres were doctors and a variety of experts in DiGeorge Syndrome giving lectures and advice. All very helpful - and it was good to meet other families going through the same sort of thing as ourselves. We even had a little dance at the end of the day at the party with the kids. Yawn! Shattered now though. Cant wait to get into my lovely bed - the Travel Lodge bed felt like I was sleeping on a giant shredded wheat.
Anyway - theres were doctors and a variety of experts in DiGeorge Syndrome giving lectures and advice. All very helpful - and it was good to meet other families going through the same sort of thing as ourselves. We even had a little dance at the end of the day at the party with the kids. Yawn! Shattered now though. Cant wait to get into my lovely bed - the Travel Lodge bed felt like I was sleeping on a giant shredded wheat.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006
The twins have reviews
Well, the main news is that both of my twin girls have had reviews of sorts. Dolly had her review with the Plastic Surgeon at Alder Hey, which wasnt much in the way of good news. The surgeon basically told us that Dolly has a paralysed palate which is why her palate operations aren`t successful; then told us to come back in a year.
Luckily, the speech therapsit who was also present, suggested to him that 6 months might be more appropriate. Oh well. Looks like we`re in for more speech therapy which probably wont do much good.
Molly, on the other hand, had a good review with the educational psycologist. He said that she was very bright and more than likely wasnt dyslexic. Yey!
It was like a weight off my mind. He said it was probably a maturity thing - she was 10 weeks premature after all, and everthing would click into place sooner or later. I so hope this is right!
Other news - we went to wales at the weekend. Colwyn Bay. It was lovely, and we collected loads of nuts and pine cones for the kids and had a gorgeous lunch of roast lamb. MMMmmmmm. Delish!
Next weekend we go to Leicester for the DiGeorge Conference. shoould be interesting. We`ve got a room booked in a local Travel Lodge, and after the conference, theres going to be a party that evening. Looking forward to this.
Tomorrow, I find out what my project is going to be in my Web Design Class. Should be interesting.
I probaby wont be able to get back on here before next week, so see you next week.
Luckily, the speech therapsit who was also present, suggested to him that 6 months might be more appropriate. Oh well. Looks like we`re in for more speech therapy which probably wont do much good.
Molly, on the other hand, had a good review with the educational psycologist. He said that she was very bright and more than likely wasnt dyslexic. Yey!

Other news - we went to wales at the weekend. Colwyn Bay. It was lovely, and we collected loads of nuts and pine cones for the kids and had a gorgeous lunch of roast lamb. MMMmmmmm. Delish!
Next weekend we go to Leicester for the DiGeorge Conference. shoould be interesting. We`ve got a room booked in a local Travel Lodge, and after the conference, theres going to be a party that evening. Looking forward to this.
Tomorrow, I find out what my project is going to be in my Web Design Class. Should be interesting.
I probaby wont be able to get back on here before next week, so see you next week.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006
My Web Design Class
Wednesday - the day for my web design class in a local woman`s technology college.
Today we did inserting images which was a bit tricky - most of us had a bit of a problem with it, but think I got the hang of it eventually. Cant wait to get the hang of HTML properly.
So, kids in bed at last. Feet up and telly on. Waiting to watch "Who do you think you are" Its David Dickinson tonight. And, we`re watching on our new LCD television that just arrived yesterday. Its lovely, but takes a bit of getting used to as we`re not used to the wide screen format. Not complaining though
! 
Just doing a few competitions - ever optimistic, just done one for £10,000 with Panosonic. Fingers crossed

Just doing a few competitions - ever optimistic, just done one for £10,000 with Panosonic. Fingers crossed
Monday, September 18, 2006
Our Make-Over



Me and my mother went for a make-over in Manchester. Took a couple of our own pictures too - so here`s a few to show you. It was a bit rubbish really and I wouldnt advise it. The nail technition was awful and smudged all our nails. The make-up artist was mediocre - we probably could have done as well ourselves. The hair stylists were good though and I had a cut while my mother had a colour done. But on the whole, I would say - not to be recommended!
The Hope Street Festival
We decided to visit the latest festival to hit the Liverpool scene, the Hope Street Festival. Its a very different sort of festival than the likes of the Matthew Street one; lots of craft type stalls and street performance. My twinnies were very intriqued with the African dancing, performed to three drummers. Molly tried her best to join in, but couldn`t match the athletic dancer who cartwheeled and walked on his hands.
Blackburne House was hosting a craft fair, so we went in for a look. There was some unusual stuff, but my mum thought that we throw away better stuff. Needless to say, we didn`t buy anything. After this we decided to visit the Blackburne House cafe bar for a quick drink. Half an hour later, we finally got served. Our beautifully presented hot chocolate was lovingly prepared in elegant, tall glasses and looked delish - but unfortuantely was only luke warm. Not good. The kids were bored now after such a long wait and started running round, much to the annoyance of the disgruntled diners, so I had to get them out quickly away from the bad-tempered faces.
After this, we had a quick look round the stalls outside and had a free sample of beer. for some reason, the beer man didnt like me and only gave me a tiny quarter glass sample - everyone else got a brimming glass. Oh well. I must have one of those faces I suppose.
Blackburne House was hosting a craft fair, so we went in for a look. There was some unusual stuff, but my mum thought that we throw away better stuff. Needless to say, we didn`t buy anything. After this we decided to visit the Blackburne House cafe bar for a quick drink. Half an hour later, we finally got served. Our beautifully presented hot chocolate was lovingly prepared in elegant, tall glasses and looked delish - but unfortuantely was only luke warm. Not good. The kids were bored now after such a long wait and started running round, much to the annoyance of the disgruntled diners, so I had to get them out quickly away from the bad-tempered faces.
After this, we had a quick look round the stalls outside and had a free sample of beer. for some reason, the beer man didnt like me and only gave me a tiny quarter glass sample - everyone else got a brimming glass. Oh well. I must have one of those faces I suppose.
Monday, September 04, 2006
The Funeral
It was a sad day on Friday. It was Tony`s funeral (Tony`s nephew Tony). As you can imagine it was an emotionally charged day. Funerals are always traumatic but when its someone only 22, the whole thing is tinged with a sense of outrage and incredulation about the whole waste of a young life. The whole thing is even more poignant when the person has taken their own life. What can you say?
Anyway, the service was relatively short and thankfully, a sunny day. His parents made a huge wreath in the shape of a dumbell as he liked to lift the weights. Very moving. After the service we went the function room of a local pub - the same one we went to his sister`s 21st a few years earlier, and had a few drinks and a plate of sandwiches.
Back home, we walked Tony`s mother`s two westies which we were minding while the funeral was on and for a few extra days. Two boisterous mutts, three times the size of our little Yorkie. They went back this morning, and as lovely as they are, we`ll be glad to get back to normal. Life goes on doesnt it. I dont think Tony`s parents, girl friend and brothers and sisters will ever get over such a tragic event, but eventually, some vestige of normality returns, and yes, life does go on.
Anyway, the service was relatively short and thankfully, a sunny day. His parents made a huge wreath in the shape of a dumbell as he liked to lift the weights. Very moving. After the service we went the function room of a local pub - the same one we went to his sister`s 21st a few years earlier, and had a few drinks and a plate of sandwiches.
Back home, we walked Tony`s mother`s two westies which we were minding while the funeral was on and for a few extra days. Two boisterous mutts, three times the size of our little Yorkie. They went back this morning, and as lovely as they are, we`ll be glad to get back to normal. Life goes on doesnt it. I dont think Tony`s parents, girl friend and brothers and sisters will ever get over such a tragic event, but eventually, some vestige of normality returns, and yes, life does go on.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Tragic News
We`ve just had some shocking news that Tony`s young nephew
has committed suicide this evening. Although he has suffered mentally for years it is still a terrible shock and so upsetting as he was only 22. What a tragic thing to happen to a young man.
The poor boy had mental health problems and had ended up in Walton prison as Tonys sister and her husband couldnt keep him out of trouble. While in jail he was being bullied by other inmates and had scaulding water poured in his face and was threatening to kill himself as he couldnt stand it. His mum was trying desparetely to get him transferred to somewhere more appropriate where he could get treatment for his schizophrenia or severe depressive illness - he was never properly diagnosed. Obviously, it was too much for him to cope with because he hung himself yesterday afternoon.
We went to pay our respects this afternoon to his family and it was heartbreaking to see them as they are so devastated. Dont know what I`d do if it was one of my kids. I dont think I`d ever get over it.
The funeral is this Friday. It will be a sad day.
has committed suicide this evening. Although he has suffered mentally for years it is still a terrible shock and so upsetting as he was only 22. What a tragic thing to happen to a young man.
The poor boy had mental health problems and had ended up in Walton prison as Tonys sister and her husband couldnt keep him out of trouble. While in jail he was being bullied by other inmates and had scaulding water poured in his face and was threatening to kill himself as he couldnt stand it. His mum was trying desparetely to get him transferred to somewhere more appropriate where he could get treatment for his schizophrenia or severe depressive illness - he was never properly diagnosed. Obviously, it was too much for him to cope with because he hung himself yesterday afternoon.
We went to pay our respects this afternoon to his family and it was heartbreaking to see them as they are so devastated. Dont know what I`d do if it was one of my kids. I dont think I`d ever get over it.
The funeral is this Friday. It will be a sad day.
Back from St. Ives - But the A30 !!!!
A few holiday snaps from Cornwall
Got back from Cornwall last week. We had a good holiday althought the weather wasnt aqs good as we`d hoped. Still - it was wasnt too bad all considering. Pretty warm most days - we even got on the beach a few times, and went in the site pool most days which the twins loved. We also managed to get to St. Ives, Newquay, Lands End and Penzance all places I havent been to for over 25 years ago when I used to work in St. Ives. St Ives was still beautiful but the amount of traffic going into it was horrendous - far too much for a small villages and it was very difficult to park. Lands End was lovely and had changed beyond recognition. There is a complex there now with loads of exhibitions and things to do for kids. I`ll try to pop some photos up later on.
But the worst thing was the traffic on the motorway. We were stuck in terrible jams both ways - it took 8 and a half hours there and back. The A30 which goes from the M5 right down to Lands End was a nightmare it was so congested. The M5 wasnt much better and it took us 3 and a half hours just getting from St Ives to the M5 - this is only just over a hundred miles. It took another few hours getting to Bristol. After we lost the London traffic past Bristol things got easier and we started moving properly. But in future, I`d think twice about going so far south in August..........................
Some Photos. above....................
Some Photos. above....................
Friday, August 11, 2006
Summer Holidays in St Ives
Well -we`re off for our summer hols tomorrow - to St. Ives, Cornwall, a place I love very much. Not looking forward to the journey very much, but we`re quite relieved we`re not flying anywhere. what with the extra airport security at the moment. It really is quite horrific that terrorists planned to blow up several aircraft carrying families, obviously including children - and the security checks are vital. I feel sorry for the people stuck in horrendous queues in the airports but I`m sure most people probably understand the severity of the situation. Oh, well. I expect we`ll have to brave the terrible traffic jams were the M5 meet the M6 instead, plus whatever other jams there may be. But it`ll be worth it to see beautiful St. Ives again............
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
My New Competiton Blog - Take a look
I`ve recently took up an old hobby of mine again. Comping. I`ve decided to record my efforts at competition winning in a separate blog dedicated to just this. If you`d like to read about my comping and whether I`m having any luck, take a peek at this blog. I`m determined to win!
http://carolthewinner.blogspot.com/
http://carolthewinner.blogspot.com/
Friday, August 04, 2006
Holiday to St Ives
what to do for a holiday this summer? Going abroad in August just doesn`t appeal to me at all - its often too hot for the kids and everywhere is so crowded. But when you have kids you`ve often got no ther option than to go in July or August. But on the other hand - if you stay in Britain, the weather is just so unreliable. Memories of last summer come flooding back - trudging round Scarborough and Bridlington (both lovely places however) in our macs and huddled under umbrellas. Not good with small kids in tow, I can tell you!
But looking at the weather forecast for August, it seems the weather may well be good, so I`m taking a chance on a holiday in beautiful Cornwall. Having spent three glorious summers working in St, Ives when I was young, it`ll be good to revisit the place with my family. So its all booked now and I`m keeping everything crossed this old British weather aint going to let me down.
Still nothing doing on the house front. We`ve had no perspective viewers for ages. Somethings not right and our estate agents are rubbish. When we come back from hols, its time to review the situation. I think we need a new plan of acion.
But looking at the weather forecast for August, it seems the weather may well be good, so I`m taking a chance on a holiday in beautiful Cornwall. Having spent three glorious summers working in St, Ives when I was young, it`ll be good to revisit the place with my family. So its all booked now and I`m keeping everything crossed this old British weather aint going to let me down.
Still nothing doing on the house front. We`ve had no perspective viewers for ages. Somethings not right and our estate agents are rubbish. When we come back from hols, its time to review the situation. I think we need a new plan of acion.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Beautiful sky over Aintree
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Palate Surgery
We just got back from Alder hey Hospital yesterday after Dolly`s latest palate surgery. As you probably may know, Dolly, one of my 6 year old twins, has VCFS, (DiGeorge Syndrome) and has very little speech due to a very short palate, which also has a repaired cleft.
Unfortunately, I don't think the operation has been a great success. When the plastic surgeon was operation, he found Dolly`s tonsils were huge - which meant he couldn't do the work he wanted to do. He did extend the palate a bit, which he said would be good ground work for future operations. FUTURE OPERATIONS! I had hoped that would be that after this operation!!!!!!Oh well. We`ll just have to wait and see. Perhaps in a few weeks there`ll be more improvement than I first thought.
I`ll keep up posted.
Unfortunately, I don't think the operation has been a great success. When the plastic surgeon was operation, he found Dolly`s tonsils were huge - which meant he couldn't do the work he wanted to do. He did extend the palate a bit, which he said would be good ground work for future operations. FUTURE OPERATIONS! I had hoped that would be that after this operation!!!!!!Oh well. We`ll just have to wait and see. Perhaps in a few weeks there`ll be more improvement than I first thought.
I`ll keep up posted.
Monday, May 08, 2006
Two House viewings
Just as I was telling eveyone how utterly USELESS my state agents are - well blow me - didnt I get a call to say I had two interested parties wanting to see the house Thursday. So off I go again in a deranged frenzy of house cleaning, decluttering, polishing and so forth. And again, the house looked pretty presentable, if I say so myself.
So...............two lovely couples turned up.....very friendly and nice and so complemenary about the house (again). The agency phoned on saturday morning to say one couple thought it was a lovely property - but not for them (why the hell not?) and the others hadnt been heard from since. This is a despondent business. after all that effort, nothing came of it again. Mind if I have a quick scream!!!!!!!
So...............two lovely couples turned up.....very friendly and nice and so complemenary about the house (again). The agency phoned on saturday morning to say one couple thought it was a lovely property - but not for them (why the hell not?) and the others hadnt been heard from since. This is a despondent business. after all that effort, nothing came of it again. Mind if I have a quick scream!!!!!!!
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
New Homes and Services Advertisement website
Well, this house selling lark isnt much fun. No luck from the last viewing - and nothing since. Not a sniff. Not even anyone for a nose. Its a bit miserable. SO - I`ve decided to start my own property and services advertising site.
Its going to be called UK Homes and Services.co.uk - I`ve ordered the site and will start working on it as soon as it gets activated. I also started two new MSN sites to help support the website. Wish me luck.
I also started a Family History course today. Looks like its going to be interesting. I always wanted to start a family tree, and now I will definately do it.
Its going to be called UK Homes and Services.co.uk - I`ve ordered the site and will start working on it as soon as it gets activated. I also started two new MSN sites to help support the website. Wish me luck.
I also started a Family History course today. Looks like its going to be interesting. I always wanted to start a family tree, and now I will definately do it.
Monday, April 17, 2006
The viewing
Well - the man turned up for the viewing dead on 4.30 pm. If I say s0 myself, the house looked great - I managed to clam most of the clutter into cupboards, the loft or garage, so it all looked most presentable.
Anyway, the gentleman arrived on time, to the minute - a pleasant Asian man on his own who said he liived in Wales at the moment and was looking for somewhere to live in Liverpool. He didn`t mention a family and I dont think our type of house is the sort a single man would look at. Could he have been a speculator? But no matter, he looked round and seemed very interested making polite comments (mind you - I do this when I`m viewing, whether I like a place or not. Its only manners). When he finished viewing, he just said, thanks very much and went. So that was that. I havent heard from the agency, so I assume he wasnt really interested. And we havent had anyone else. I thought we may have had a few viewings over Easter, but nope. Not-a-one. Not looing good so far.
Anyway, the gentleman arrived on time, to the minute - a pleasant Asian man on his own who said he liived in Wales at the moment and was looking for somewhere to live in Liverpool. He didn`t mention a family and I dont think our type of house is the sort a single man would look at. Could he have been a speculator? But no matter, he looked round and seemed very interested making polite comments (mind you - I do this when I`m viewing, whether I like a place or not. Its only manners). When he finished viewing, he just said, thanks very much and went. So that was that. I havent heard from the agency, so I assume he wasnt really interested. And we havent had anyone else. I thought we may have had a few viewings over Easter, but nope. Not-a-one. Not looing good so far.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Viewers tomorrow
We have the first lot of people coming to view our house tomorrow. Looks like a Mega-Tidy-Up, Declutter tomorrow. Oh well - it`ll be worth it. Needs a tidy up anyway. Lets see what tomorrow brings.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
We`ve decided to sell our house!
I`ve finally done it! After talking about selling our house and moving away for about a year, I`ve finally gone and done it. The deciding moment came last week, when we had broken bottles chucked in our front garden, plus mounds of other litter. The kids in the street are getting cheekier and cheekier, and when (unusually for me) I confronted one nine year old for throwing litter in my garden - while I was standing there - I was served up with a torrent of foul mouthed abuse from his mother! So, anyway, I`ve gone and done it now. I contacted the estate agents, had the valuation (disappointing) and received the final details for signing today. The photographs were a bit of a disappointment to. The estate agent hadnt closed the front gate before snapping the front view of the house - plus, I dont think she`s taken it from the best angle. Still - its done now. I`m going to hand the papers in today and see how it goes. I think some mega- offloading of our excess possessions is in order. My goodness - we`ve accumulated some rubbish.
Anyway, I`ll keep you posted on how it goes.
Anyway, I`ll keep you posted on how it goes.
Friday, March 17, 2006
Palate probelms.........................
Not been keeping up this blog too well I`m afraid, but you know how it goes?
Yeah. Life happens! Well wots been happing? Firstly, Little Dolly has had some Xrays to see how her palate is doing. Its looking pretty likely that she`s going to have to ahve another operation on her palate as she still has virtually no speech.
Trouble is, it seems its very complicated. Dolly`s palate is apparently static, hence her lack of speech at nearly six years of age. BUT here`s the dilemma. If they move the palate back too much in order too facilitiate speech, they`re likely to block off her air supply. Not good as you can imagine. So, I`ll have to leave it in the hands of those who seem to know what they`re doing. Lets hope they do though!
Yeah. Life happens! Well wots been happing? Firstly, Little Dolly has had some Xrays to see how her palate is doing. Its looking pretty likely that she`s going to have to ahve another operation on her palate as she still has virtually no speech.
Trouble is, it seems its very complicated. Dolly`s palate is apparently static, hence her lack of speech at nearly six years of age. BUT here`s the dilemma. If they move the palate back too much in order too facilitiate speech, they`re likely to block off her air supply. Not good as you can imagine. So, I`ll have to leave it in the hands of those who seem to know what they`re doing. Lets hope they do though!
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
RIP Phil the Clown, Benidorm
Has anyone ever seen the amazing Phil the Clown on at Panchos in Benidorm? Phil is a Liverpool lad and so funny. The adults love him as much as the kids - a real star! He`s been appearing as Phil the Clown for 9 years in Panchos. But I was shocked to read in the Echo last week that it was Phil`s funeral. Anyway, I looked round on the net to try to find out what happened to Phil and appearently he broke his leg last July, 2005 (we saw him last in June) and was going to return to Panchos this month to resume his job. It seems he but died suddenly but I dont whether it was a complication of his broken leg, or what.
I`m really sad to hear this as Benidorm wont be the same without Phil. I thought he was only about 30 tops, but I believe he was over 40 and his wife is expecting a baby at the moment which makes it all the more poignant.
R.I.P. Phil. He will be sadly missed by thousands of children and their families.
I`m really sad to hear this as Benidorm wont be the same without Phil. I thought he was only about 30 tops, but I believe he was over 40 and his wife is expecting a baby at the moment which makes it all the more poignant.
R.I.P. Phil. He will be sadly missed by thousands of children and their families.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
We got a scooter
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Scouse Jokes
SCOUSE JOKES
An Australian, an Irishman and a Scouser are in a bar. They're staring atanother man sitting on his own at a table in the corner. He's so familiar, and not recognising him is driving them mad. They stare and stare, until suddenly the Irishman twigs:
"My God, it's Jesus!"Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint. Thrilled, they send him over a pint of Guinness, a pint of Fosters and a pint of bitter. Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men, and drinks the pints slowly, one afteranother.After he's finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio. He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness. When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement:
"My God! The arthritis I've had for 30 years is gone. It's a miracle!"
Jesus then shakes the Aussie's hand, thanking him for the lager. As he lets go, the man's eyes widen in shock.
"Strewth mate, the bad back I've had all my life is completely gone! It's a miracle."
Jesus then approaches the Scouser who says, "Back off, mate, I'm on disability benefit.
**********************
A scouser walked into the local job centre, marched straight up to the counter and said "Hi, I'm looking for a job".
The man behind the counter replied "Your timing is amazing. We've just got one in from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac twin daughters. You'll have to drive around a big blackMercedes and wear the uniform provided. The hours are a bit long but the meals are provided. You also have to escort the young ladies on theiroverseas holidays. The Salary package is £200,000 a year".
The Scouser said "You're bullsh*tting me!"The man behind the counter said "Well you started it!"
**** **********************
Police cordoned off Liverpool City Centre this morning when a suspicious object was discovered.It later turned out to be a tax disc.
**********************************
A Scouser walks into a bar in Manchester dressed up in his new Liverpool shirt effort and orders a drink before noticing a picture of Sir Matt Busby on the wall.He was just about to leave when the barman says: "Where do you think you're going?"
The Scouser replies: "I'm sorry, I just noticed Matt Busby there andI think I'd better leave,"
The barman says: "No no no. It's too late for that. You've got to roll the dice Pal," The Scouser looks puzzled and says: "Roll the dice?" The Barman replies: "Yeh. If you roll between 1 and 5 we kick the c**p out of you,"
The Scouser says: "What if I roll a 6?"
The barman replies: "You get another go."
***************************
A primary teacher explains to her class that she is a Liverpool fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Liverpool fans.Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?"
"Because I'm not a Liverpool fan," she replied.
The teacher, stillshocked, asked, "Well, if you are not an Liverpool fan, then who are you a fan of?"
"I am a Man Utd fan, and proud of it," Mary replied.
The teachercould not believe her ears. "Mary, why, pray tell, are you a Man Utd fan?"
"Because my mum is a Man Utd fan, and my dad is a Man Utd fan, so I'm a Man Utd fan too!"
"Well," said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a Man Utd fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mum was a prostitute and your Dad was a drug addict, what would you be then?"
"Then," Mary smiled, "I'd be a Liverpool fan."
**********************************
You are locked in a room with a Lion, a Cobra and a scouser. You have a gun with only 2 bullets Who do you shoot?
The scouser..... Twice, just to be sure !!
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Toilet Training
Its become a very difficult process trying to get Evie toilet trained. Although she`ll be six in May, she shows no inclination to use the toilet, seeming quite happy to just go in her training pants. No worries that way is there? I`ve had the continence nurse come out to see us again and she has advised us to get some special steps that lead up to the toilet and are fitted to a small seat that fits over the toilet seat. And also an egg timer type thing to time her when she`s on the toilet. We must make her sit on it for one minute and the two minutes etc........
Tracking down a seat like this was more difficult than I thought. I tried Mothercare first and few other shops and have just managed to find one on Ebay. What would we do without Ebay?
So its just a case of waiting for it to come now and see how we get on.
We`ve run out of training pants again though. The ones they give us are meant to last three months, but I`m luckily to get a month out of them. There is a service where you`re meant to ring when you get down to the last pack, but when I ring they just say - "Oh, you`re not due for anymore nappies for another two months so you cant have any yet." Whats the point of that then? Last month I just waited for them to come and when they never arrived I phoned them and they said, "Oh, we never sent you any because you never phoned so we thought you didn't need any."Its just so frustrating and its quite difficult and expensive to buy training pants for a five year old. The ones in the shops are usually too small as they`re mainly designed for two to three year-olds. Hhmmmmm!
Tracking down a seat like this was more difficult than I thought. I tried Mothercare first and few other shops and have just managed to find one on Ebay. What would we do without Ebay?
So its just a case of waiting for it to come now and see how we get on.
We`ve run out of training pants again though. The ones they give us are meant to last three months, but I`m luckily to get a month out of them. There is a service where you`re meant to ring when you get down to the last pack, but when I ring they just say - "Oh, you`re not due for anymore nappies for another two months so you cant have any yet." Whats the point of that then? Last month I just waited for them to come and when they never arrived I phoned them and they said, "Oh, we never sent you any because you never phoned so we thought you didn't need any."Its just so frustrating and its quite difficult and expensive to buy training pants for a five year old. The ones in the shops are usually too small as they`re mainly designed for two to three year-olds. Hhmmmmm!
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Photoshop
Good news. My photoshop class is back on as from Monday. Combined with my Photography on Location class today, I look forward to being able to take and process better photographs. Photoshop is such a good programme, but difficult to use without instruction. I look forward to learning all I can. It is good to learn something new.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
The most depressing day of the year
Yesterday was supposed to be officially the most depressing day of the year. I don't know why. Probably because christmas is over and everyones waiting for the next pay packet as we`re all skint in January.
I cant wait for spring now and the light nights though. Roll on the warm weather......................
Today I noticed an estate agents board outside our neighbours house. This lady has had the trauma of her lovely husband committing suicide last year - and the shock of finding his body. And now her and her soon are being targeted by yobs for some reason - eggs thrown at the house, car windscreen smashed and goodness knows what else. Its a shame to be driven out of your own neighbourhood by such behaviour, but it comes to a point where moving is better than living in misery. It seems that law abiding citizens have no real protection against the yob culture and the police can`t protect us anymore. The problem is too vast. Time for some drastic new legislation, I think!
So now we`ll have two new neighbours living oppersite. Besides this lovely family, the lady who lived next door to them died over the christmas period so that will be another set of new neighbours. Oh my goodness. Perhaps it really is the most depressing day of the year.
I cant wait for spring now and the light nights though. Roll on the warm weather......................
Today I noticed an estate agents board outside our neighbours house. This lady has had the trauma of her lovely husband committing suicide last year - and the shock of finding his body. And now her and her soon are being targeted by yobs for some reason - eggs thrown at the house, car windscreen smashed and goodness knows what else. Its a shame to be driven out of your own neighbourhood by such behaviour, but it comes to a point where moving is better than living in misery. It seems that law abiding citizens have no real protection against the yob culture and the police can`t protect us anymore. The problem is too vast. Time for some drastic new legislation, I think!
So now we`ll have two new neighbours living oppersite. Besides this lovely family, the lady who lived next door to them died over the christmas period so that will be another set of new neighbours. Oh my goodness. Perhaps it really is the most depressing day of the year.
Monday, January 23, 2006
A Trip To Skipton
We had a trip to visit Tony`s son who lives near Skipton yesterday. Its such a lovely part of the country. Beautiful scenery - Skipton itself is a lovely old English market town.
Anyway, we stopped off for lunch at a country pub - having thought to book a table for 8. After lunch we went to boundary mills which is an outlet shopping village and had a good look round. I didn't buy anything for a change. after this it was back to Karl`s - who had been minding the kids for us, and coffee and biscuits - before heading back about 6.30.
I would like to live in a more rural area - but don't know if I could go somewhere that quiet. Nice to visit though!
Anyway, we stopped off for lunch at a country pub - having thought to book a table for 8. After lunch we went to boundary mills which is an outlet shopping village and had a good look round. I didn't buy anything for a change. after this it was back to Karl`s - who had been minding the kids for us, and coffee and biscuits - before heading back about 6.30.
I would like to live in a more rural area - but don't know if I could go somewhere that quiet. Nice to visit though!
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Paranoia
Oh my gosh! I do get worried. Call it paranoia if you like, but in this climate of underlying menace on the streets, I cant help worrying about my teenage son. He doesn't go out alone of a night unless he is driven there and back - I feel the streets aren't safe for a teenager - even a sensible, untroublsome one. But today, he went into town with some friends for a look round, a meal and a visit to the cinema. All pretty harmless stuff! But when it got to 7.30 and no sign of him and nothing but an answerphone message from his Mobile, I started to get the stirrings of unease in my stomach. Various horrible scenarios from the newspapers started popping into my head. Murders - attacks - muggings - Oh my God! Anything could happen. Finally, I phoned his friends dad, who told me his son had rung ten minutes ago to say they were getting on the train and should be home soon. Phew!!!!! Relief.
But I wasn't properly relieved until he set foot the house. apparently, he entered the wrong PIN into his mobile and it shut his phone down so he couldn't ring.
Hmmmm. Payphones????? But I`m just so glad he`s home and safe. I dread to think what I`ll be like when the twins are teenagers
But I wasn't properly relieved until he set foot the house. apparently, he entered the wrong PIN into his mobile and it shut his phone down so he couldn't ring.
Hmmmm. Payphones????? But I`m just so glad he`s home and safe. I dread to think what I`ll be like when the twins are teenagers
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Poetry spoken online
I came across this website were classic poets perform historic readings of their poetry - you can hear voices of poets dating back to 1889 - making poetry accessible to a wider audience. The address of this website is www.poetryarchive.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
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